(copied from mD)
posted 1/25/2006 9:11:10 PM
Ever have a conversation with someone for hours and hours and you get nothing resolved? yeah, well it's been one of those days for me. Sometimes I really think I am getting ahead in this dating life.. and then someone comes along and challenges me to a debate about sex on the first date. I am not totally opposed to this concept, but I can't say it's a given or it's a good idea. I guess if that's all you are looking for then why not. Two concenting adults can do what they feel is best for them. I am not the judge. But if the goal is a long term relationship with a chance of a future then I'd say it's not a good idea.... starting a relationship out like that normally ...... ends in a thud. But hey I could be wrong.. after all I am only human and realize that there are exceptions to almost every rule!
Friday, April 27, 2007
And so it goes
(copied from MD)
posted 1/26/2006 10:13:31 AM
the debate continued on today with no avail - with neither one winning, with neither one compromising. Is it being bullheaded? stubborn? or just two people defending what they believe? sticking to their morals? And so it goes with no compromise, no bending either way what may have been will never be because two people could not agree so they parted ways to begin yet another attempt to search out the one for them. ___________________________ Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared beneath the stars above For a moment all the world was right How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Holding you I held everything For a moment wasn't I the king But if I'd only known how the king would fall Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Yes my life is better left to chance I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance Garth Brooks~
posted 1/26/2006 10:13:31 AM
the debate continued on today with no avail - with neither one winning, with neither one compromising. Is it being bullheaded? stubborn? or just two people defending what they believe? sticking to their morals? And so it goes with no compromise, no bending either way what may have been will never be because two people could not agree so they parted ways to begin yet another attempt to search out the one for them. ___________________________ Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared beneath the stars above For a moment all the world was right How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Holding you I held everything For a moment wasn't I the king But if I'd only known how the king would fall Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance Yes my life is better left to chance I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance Garth Brooks~
Sex on the first date .. continued
(copied from md)
posted 1/28/2006 6:31:45 PM
Ok, so because I said I wasn't opposed to sex on the first date, that it was something that had to be decided between two consenting adults I have been judged by certain people who just assume because I said I wasn't opposed to it that I obviously have sex on the first date with every first date I have.. coming from someone who basically insists that sex will happen on the first date or he isn't showing up I find this to be a bit of a double standard.. which if you haven't noticed it happens a great deal. From the beginning of time men have assumed that they can sleep with whomever they wish, whenever they wish and no matter what it's to be accepted and "normal" behavoir because they are men....but now if women behave like that, they are considered "bad" ...well HELLO???? if women aren't "bad" who would the men be sleeping with in the first place???
Committment.. or not?
(copied from MD)
posted 2/1/2006 7:43:20 PM
If you've been keeping up I have talked about the issue of sex on the first date. And may I say that I did get a few responses on those blogs. Not as many as I had expected, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining either way. It's a touchy subject for most people. But this issue has brought along other issues that could be explored. Let's say you meet someone, you have a great time with them and one thing leads to another and you have "relations" maybe on the first date, maybe the second..... at this point that's not the issue. The issue remains, are you now in a committed relationship? Let's ponder this for a moment or two and maybe we will find the answer. I wish someone would help me out here! lol I wonder about this because maybe it has happened to someone else and they have a way of dealing with it and understanding the "bs" that goes along with dating. Unless you say you are exclusive shouldn't you be allowed to see anyone you want and if that moves into the "relations" area shouldn't that be your right as well? I am not suggesting jumping from bed to bed is a safe or supported activity BUT I am saying that everyone has the right to do what they wish in a relationship unless it's specified just exactly where you stand with one another.. yes? no? maybe so? So, if the RIGHT person reads this understand that I am absolutely, so totally "un-confused" and would be very happy with a committed relationship with you if the distance could be overcome and that is what you want too.
posted 2/1/2006 7:43:20 PM
If you've been keeping up I have talked about the issue of sex on the first date. And may I say that I did get a few responses on those blogs. Not as many as I had expected, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining either way. It's a touchy subject for most people. But this issue has brought along other issues that could be explored. Let's say you meet someone, you have a great time with them and one thing leads to another and you have "relations" maybe on the first date, maybe the second..... at this point that's not the issue. The issue remains, are you now in a committed relationship? Let's ponder this for a moment or two and maybe we will find the answer. I wish someone would help me out here! lol I wonder about this because maybe it has happened to someone else and they have a way of dealing with it and understanding the "bs" that goes along with dating. Unless you say you are exclusive shouldn't you be allowed to see anyone you want and if that moves into the "relations" area shouldn't that be your right as well? I am not suggesting jumping from bed to bed is a safe or supported activity BUT I am saying that everyone has the right to do what they wish in a relationship unless it's specified just exactly where you stand with one another.. yes? no? maybe so? So, if the RIGHT person reads this understand that I am absolutely, so totally "un-confused" and would be very happy with a committed relationship with you if the distance could be overcome and that is what you want too.
Honest
(copied from MD)
posted 2/3/2006 6:43:43 PM
LOL...... just gotta laugh sometimes ya know??? What is it with some of the people ?? Do you really not know what it is you want in life or do you think that playing with a person's feelings is funny? When a person tells you- I want more then friends with benefits. You would think they mean a committed relationship right? Well I've been taking notes lately and it seems that most people who say this actually mean... I want more then one friend with benefits at a time! So just incase you have a person in your life saying this to you... you might want to sit up and take some notes because not everyone in this world knows the meaning of the word honest.. so just incase you don't have a dictionary handy.. I do! Honest- adj. Not given to lies, theft, cheating etc. Not false or misleading, true. Free from fraud, fair, equitable. Frank, open, sincere, straightforward. Hm... not sure about you, but I understand what all those words mean... I wish that the rest of the world did. Someone once said to me, "The bad guys make it hard for the good guys, every woman assumes the good guy is bad because of the experiences they have gone through" I used to think that this wasn't true but after the past few weeks of my research.. I gotta tell ya it isn't looking very promising. But.... once again I say I will not be overcome by idiots I will conquer and I will love again!
Honesty continued
(copied from MD)
posted 2/4/2006 6:47:36 AM
I got amazing feelback from my Honesty blog... seems a few of you agree with me on the friends with benefits subject. Even if this is the type of relationship you want or are looking for I have no problems with that in particular...... my main problem, main complaint, main issue..... would be the muliple friends with the benefits at one time.... and from my own personal experiences being told I want too much from a relationship? huh?? Expecting "faithfulness" in the bedroom department is expecting TOO MUCH??? I think there once was a time when a men slept with a woman he married her... I know things have changed haven't they? but when did the respect, the determination and commitment to make a relationship work turn into a conquest to see just how many people you can "have" in your life and go out and have fun instead of "committing" to one woman and having fun with just her? or one man and having fun with just him? I am not completely innocent myself so I am not passing judgment here I am just opening our eyes a bit. I've read many blogs on this site and if you haven't maybe you'd be surprised at the number of women writing about the married men on here looking for some "fun" some "intimate encounters" because their love life at home sucks.. and I am sure there's women on here doing the same.. well PEOPLE why does it suck at home? why not put your effort into making it work at home and if you can't then have the respect for yourself and your spouse to end it and then look for your "fun" after you have the consideration of being honest with your spouse.. I will give my ex husband credit in that department.. he wasn't happy - he told me - he left.. I was hurt at first because he wouldn't even try to make things better but at least he had enough respect for me and had enough ba**s to be honest about how he was feeling... it's taken a few years but we are great friends again which is a wonderful thing for our daughter. I guess this whole blog kind of comes down to people who are just plain selfish.. it's ok to be selfish once in a while we all need to do things for ourselves that makes us happy but a constant desire to just go out and play with others feelings is just wrong.. and as someone so nicely reminded me.. we can't change other people.. we can only change ourselves into the self respecting, full of self esteem and confident people we once were before we allowed the negatives of the world to ensnare us.. so here's to making myself a better person!
posted 2/4/2006 6:47:36 AM
I got amazing feelback from my Honesty blog... seems a few of you agree with me on the friends with benefits subject. Even if this is the type of relationship you want or are looking for I have no problems with that in particular...... my main problem, main complaint, main issue..... would be the muliple friends with the benefits at one time.... and from my own personal experiences being told I want too much from a relationship? huh?? Expecting "faithfulness" in the bedroom department is expecting TOO MUCH??? I think there once was a time when a men slept with a woman he married her... I know things have changed haven't they? but when did the respect, the determination and commitment to make a relationship work turn into a conquest to see just how many people you can "have" in your life and go out and have fun instead of "committing" to one woman and having fun with just her? or one man and having fun with just him? I am not completely innocent myself so I am not passing judgment here I am just opening our eyes a bit. I've read many blogs on this site and if you haven't maybe you'd be surprised at the number of women writing about the married men on here looking for some "fun" some "intimate encounters" because their love life at home sucks.. and I am sure there's women on here doing the same.. well PEOPLE why does it suck at home? why not put your effort into making it work at home and if you can't then have the respect for yourself and your spouse to end it and then look for your "fun" after you have the consideration of being honest with your spouse.. I will give my ex husband credit in that department.. he wasn't happy - he told me - he left.. I was hurt at first because he wouldn't even try to make things better but at least he had enough respect for me and had enough ba**s to be honest about how he was feeling... it's taken a few years but we are great friends again which is a wonderful thing for our daughter. I guess this whole blog kind of comes down to people who are just plain selfish.. it's ok to be selfish once in a while we all need to do things for ourselves that makes us happy but a constant desire to just go out and play with others feelings is just wrong.. and as someone so nicely reminded me.. we can't change other people.. we can only change ourselves into the self respecting, full of self esteem and confident people we once were before we allowed the negatives of the world to ensnare us.. so here's to making myself a better person!
(copied from md)
2/4/2006 5:07:41 PM
I love writing but it seems that there's a few people who find what I write to be a reflection of me having too much time on my hands and obviously having more then one friend with benefits at one time because I seem to know a great deal about the topic.... First of all.. I spend very little time actually writing my blogs. I type for a living therefore it takes me no time at all to type what I am thinking. I can think and type at the same time!! Second.... I know a lot about the topic because of the few men in my life, past and present trying this sh*t with me and once again I say.. it's a double standard world we live in.. it's ok for the men to sleep around but not for the women.. but if the women aren't supposed to be sleeping around as much as the men are.. just who are the men sleeping with then???? other men maybe???? and NO, I DO NOT by any means think all men are the same or like the people I discussed in my blogs.. and I wrote that just as much about women as I did men.. Which brings this whole thing down to one thing.... it's no one's business what you do with your life. I am not your judge.. I am my own judge ..... so instead of judging me and assuming I am practicing what I am writing look in the mirror and judge what you see...
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