How much is too much?

(copied from MD)
posted 5/8/2006 4:49:04 PM

I spent sometime with one of my friends last weekend. Things were a little rough at first, we hadn't seen each other in almost 4 months. Thankfully everything has calmed down since then. But during one of our many conversations he informed me he hates it when I analyze him. So….. I thought about this for a while. I realized that he is correct. I do analyze but it’s not just him that I spend time analyzing. Hell I analyze myself all the time. So now I am wondering when did this habit of analyzing begin? Is there such a thing as over analyzing?? If you don’t want to be analyzed does that mean you have something to hide? In thinking about these things the last week or so, I think that my “analyzing” came from the many sessions with the counselor while going through my divorce. Momma always told me not to go to a counselor. “They will screw with your head”..... maybe momma was right? LOL Seriously I think that analyzing oneself is necessary. Maybe even analyzing others is necessary. I don’t mean to do this but when you are dealing with the type of person my friend is, it’s good to be on your toes and to find the hidden answers. Or maybe it’s just the old sayings…. been there, done that – fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me – maybe I am just being skeptical or is it being careful? Whatever the reason I do find myself wondering why people say and do the things they do? They will say something that sounds reasonable and good. BUT when you put it into perspective with their life it makes no sense AT ALL. So I question why? And I get told I am analyzing or mothering. God forbid we mother someone huh? But if you don’t have your life together and you’re coming to me for help, or you are reaching out to me in a time of depression and despair... Doesn’t that give me the right as a friend to: Analyze? Make Suggestions? Offer Solutions? Offer Constructive Criticism? I never said you had to do what I say or suggest but if you don’t like what I have to say then don’t give me a reason to tell it like it is…. Or at least the way I see it. I can understand him being upset if I was just analyzing his life for the hell of it. But it’s not like that at all. We’ve been through a lot together and have survived … stronger and closer then we were, even though it’s been a very hard battle. Sometimes I ask myself why I stay… see? Analyzing! Lol I think that if you don’t analyze and access the situation from time to time you just may end up realizing you’re in much deeper bull stuff then you were before.