National Day of Mourning...

(copied from MD)
posted 1/2/2007 8:40:02 AM
1 kudo

Wow, the silence at work today is overwhelming... I think most of us are napping... recouping from the weekend. None of us are party people so I know it's not from that... mine is from not sleeping well, and having a lot on my mind... trying to organize my life, exercising more, eating less and saving more money... and LEAVING IT THERE! lolI'm hoping that my resolution lasts longer this year then last... one can hope ... right? lol Well today has been deemed A National Day of Mourning for former President Ford. This means that there is no mail today... which means there is no work for us because our job depends on a high mail volume of claims for processing. This means tomorrow we will be slammed with so much work we won't be able to have time to think! This also means... today is going to be either a good day to catch up on the things I let slide previously... clean out my desk and organize.. or a long boring day counting the minutes until time to go home! I'm thinking it's best to stay busy so that the day doesn't drag any longer then necessary... so to help with that I've found a list of simple home remedies that I thought I'd share with everyone here. Have a wonderful day! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, theblockage will be almost instantly removed.2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by gettingsomeone else to hold them while you chop away.3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat bysimply using the sink.4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleedfor a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Rememberto use a timer.5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent youfrom rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snoozebutton.6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then youwill be afraid to cough.7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you willforget about the toothache.Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.1. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.2. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.Remember:- Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.- Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.- If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.- And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you neverknow when you might need them to empty your bedpan.